Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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