I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
