found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
