cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
