I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
you never un-have a 4some
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize