NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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