sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
