Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
