I'm drive I can fine osifer
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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