just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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