I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize