I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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