This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
