for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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