Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
