She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
