Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
