ya dads aren't the best wingmen
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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