I want to have your abortion
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Reggie can tackle my bush.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
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