Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
