butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Randomize
