I want to have your abortion
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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