I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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