Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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