Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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