I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I have so many feelings about this burrito
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
