Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
