1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
