And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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