Banned from zoo.
Again?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
