i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
