Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
