belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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