He passed out mid-signature
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I just blew my weed a kiss
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
