You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
