The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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