They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize