One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
