will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
