Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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