tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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