I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
