Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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