just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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