My hair reeks of homosexuality.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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