I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Someone signed my nipple.
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