2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
