i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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