would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
