We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize