Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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