I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
