pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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