apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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