That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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