You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
