everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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